


Parallels

by allin_ev_itable



Series: Hurting Jimmy Campbell's Feelings [2]
Category: Bandstand - Oberacker/Oberacker & Taylor
Genre: Angst, Gen, How Do I Tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-12
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-06-26 05:24:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15656655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allin_ev_itable/pseuds/allin_ev_itable
Summary: Julia can't face the band after Donny tells her what happened to Michael. Jimmy comes to visit her.





	Parallels

**Author's Note:**

> Part of the dialogue is based off of "What Would You Do?" from If/Then. That's what inspired the plot to this oneshot so please go listen to the cast recording it's so good hhhh

 Julia felt terrible for missing the gig, more so that she didn't tell them ahead of time and left them to their own devices, but her mind was on other things. On Michael, and how they had their whole marriage ahead of them. On Donny, who told her more information than she ever wanted to know. On the war, that had taken so many things away from her so quickly that she was barely left with much more than her body, which felt like an empty shell that traveled along with her clouded mind.

 “Jimmy's here, Julia. He says he needs to talk to you about something,” June said carefully, watching her daughter stare blankly out of the kitchen window. She'd been in that same spot for days, only moving to shower or eat very little. It had begun to worry her mother, but even the talk they'd had earlier in the day only seemed to help a little.

 “I don't really want company right now,” Julia replied, close to tears once more. She didn't want any of the guys to see her like this. She didn't want him to think she was a weak girl in need of comforting, of  _ rescuing. _ She wanted to be strong, to be the happy, bubbly girl she always was during rehearsals and gigs. But right now, she was in no condition to talk without being on the verge of tears.

 “He says it's urgent.” That made Julia's gaze cut from the window, looking at her mother with worry. Jimmy never said something was urgent unless it was, never wanting to cause worry unless it was necessary. This made her think something could be wrong. What was it?  _ Was someone hurt? Did Davy finally drink too much to handle? Did something happen with Johnny's back? Did Donny drive himself over the edge? Was he-  _ Julia pushed her thoughts aside as she stood and made her way out to the living room. The man had begun pacing, something she had picked up that he does when he was nervous or had something on his mind he couldn't get rid of. She waited for her mother to leave the room before speaking, keeping her tone firm to keep it from shaking like it had been for days.

 “If this is about me not showing up today, I don’t-”

 “It was me,” Jimmy said quickly, stopping in his pacing to look at the woman in front of him. She looked back at him in total confusion that clearly showed in her eyes until he continued. “It...It was me. I told Donny not to tell you about Michael.”

 Julia's confusion morphed into shock, then hurt, which resulted in  _ anger _ . “Why would you tell him to do that?!” she shot back, noticing the way the man flinched, but maintaining her composure. 

 “I thought about it from a legal standpoint. There wasn't an inquiry, so he didn't have to tell you what happened. He was terrified to even check in on you because he knew you would ask. But mostly...I asked myself if I would want to know if I were in your position.”

 “But you're not in my position, Jimmy. You don't know what it’s like to live the gold star life. To lose someone you love more than anything else-”

 “Yes, I do.” Jimmy said suddenly, making a face of shock that matched Julia's during the long seconds of silence in the living room that suddenly felt so much colder to the man. “...Yes, I do.” He took a deep breath and began to pace the floor again, gesturing for Julia to take a seat. She hesitated for a moment before sitting on the couch, growing more and more nervous from the back and forth Jimmy was doing.

 “We met after I’d been drafted. We were going through basic training, before I had been assigned anywhere. We'd never really talked before, just a few subtle and not-so-subtle glances at each other here and there...then we ended up bunkmates on the  _ Read _ .” Jimmy paused for a second and Julia felt her heart sink.  _ She knew where this was going. _

__ “His name was Aaron Miller. He was a happy-go-lucky guy from Detroit and he never let you forget he was from Detroit. He was a bit of a hothead, but he never snapped at me.  _ Never. _ We eventually found out that neither of us were like the other guys. We didn't talk about girls or anything like that. It wasn’t long before we…” he trailed off, hoping Julia caught on. He never said it out loud, that he and Aaron had a relationship. That they were a couple. It was too risky, and it was too much.

 “We talked about everything we could. Family, home life, our childhood, hobbies, what we wanted to do when we got back. He even made a plan...the dork. We were gonna get a place here in Cleveland, maybe a cat or two, and just live our lives together. It was perfect. I loved thinking about it during the long days of just waiting. We… _ we had a plan _ ,” he choked out, clearing his throat immediately after. “Of all the crew members on board, all but twenty-two were rescued. And...he had to be one of the twenty-two…”

 Julia was already in tears. How had she not seen it? How had she missed that he was going through the same thing? No, he was going through  _ worse _ , because he couldn't talk about the one he loved like she could. He couldn't publically grieve like she could. He had to grin and bear it to avoid suspicion, and that thought made every part of her being hurt. 

 Jimmy suddenly stopped moving, keeping his eyes trained on the floor. “He was a writer, y'know. Wrote fictions of other worlds and fantasies that would pull you into the story with one single sentence. He'd always come up with random stories that would somehow relate to a problem I was facing to try and get me to smile. It pissed me off at first, but it worked every time.”

 The man looked up, and Julia swore she could see tears in the corners of his eyes. He tried to subtly wipe them away though, which only broke her more. He had been through so much, had lost  **so much** , and he still kept himself so composed. He kept so much bottled up,  _ and she never saw it _ . 

 It made her wonder about the things Donny kept to himself. 

 “I just...I understand how you feel, Julia. Because I loved him.  _ So much _ . Christ, I  _ still _ love him so much. And I'd give anything just to get him back, if even for a second…” A sad mix between a chuckle and a sob emerged, the tears now flowing freely at the same quick rate as Julia's. “Just to see that stupid smile he got whenever he found the perfect ending to a story or got me to laugh when I was in a bad mood. I'd give anything in the whole damn world just for that one single moment again.”

 Julia slowly stood from the couch, taking a few steps forward to stand in front of Jimmy and wrap him into a tight hug. He tensed for a moment before hugging her back, everything in his mind telling him to back away and quickly dry his eyes. 

 But he didn't. He stayed there in Julia's embrace and cried with her. 

 She was sure it was the most he'd cried in a really long time. 

 A couple hours later, the two were sitting side-by-side on the couch, now emotionally exhausted and staying in blissful silence to just think. 

 “If you met him tomorrow, and knew you would lose him...if you saw him and saw all the hurt you would know...would you hold him while you had him, or...let him go?” Jimmy asked slowly, turning to look at the girl, who was reflecting on his words while trying to find an answer.

 Seconds passed by, and she still couldn't seem to find an answer.  _ How could she answer that? _ “...I don't know.”

 Jimmy sighed. “Sometimes I ask myself things like this. It helps the pain a little, to wonder if it was worth it. If you knew that your laughter would not last forever, but you knew while it did, you would breathe it like air...would you let him make you love him?” Thoughts flashed in Julia's mind, parallel to Jimmy's. A boy tossing his head back in laughter, making everything warm and just full of love. A boy promising to protect them, to comfort them. To  _ love _ them. A boy they loved so much it quite literally hurt. “Feeling like you feel today, tell me you'd just walk away.”

 Julia didn't answer. She couldn't. She knew she wouldn't walk away. Not from him. 

 “What would you do if you could do it all over? If you could go back knowing what you know now?” 

 “I...I’d still love him. While I could, as much as I could. And I-” She stopped when her voice broke, giving herself a moment to pull herself together. She'd had enough crying for one day. “And I'd love him more than I ever did before.”

 Jimmy nodded in agreement, and the room returned to its silence. They talked for a while longer, the tone somehow taking a lighter shift as they shared stories about the men they loved and lost.

 When Jimmy finally prepared to leave, he hugged Julia one last time, resting a hand on the front doorknob. “...Try to talk to Donny. He won't admit it, but you're the only thing really keeping him together. He needs you in his life, and the band wouldn't be the same without you.”

 Julia slowly nodded in response, watching Jimmy walk out the door. She knew he was right, and she needed to talk to Donny, but what would she say? After all that had happened, what was next?

 She took a seat at the dimly lit kitchen table, only a lamp providing light in the late hours of the night as she grabbed her pen and a fresh piece of paper and began to write. 

 As the black ink traveled across the blank page, her mind couldn't help but wander to the thought of Jimmy, a young, bright-eyed man, so deep in love and hopeful to spend a secret lifetime with who could've very well been his soulmate, someone who cared so deeply about him. Someone he told all his secrets to.

 Someone he lost, just like her.

 Or maybe not like her, because he had to watch the horrifying scene unfold right in front of him.

_ Jimmy made it back to town four month ago _

_ Lives to tell of things no one could bear to know _

_ Keeps his guard up, now a lot goes undiscussed _

_ Focuses on fighting what he finds unjust _

 “...Welcome home, Jimmy,” she whispered with a sad smile, shutting off the light and walking to bed.

**Author's Note:**

> Eh.
> 
> STALK ME CORNER
> 
> Instagram: @allin_ev_itable  
> Tumblr: @allin-ev-itable  
> Twitter: @allin_ev_itable


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